It’s was great! Besides me fainting while quad biking…
I really got quite paranoid and feel quite light headed recently. Maybe age is catching up or God is preventing some disaster from happening. Anyway, I still Thank God that I’m still breathing. By God’s grace, my brains are safe.
I have two really cool and sweet Bday presents from Dex, Ade and Kim. I totally digged it.
I’m climbing out of the shit pit and waking up looking at the scenarios clearer and clearer each day.
Most of the time, I chose to face the situations and let the pain sinks in. I stared hard at it and let the full blown pain hit me. I chose not to avoid the truth and rather let it hurt me really hard. Nothing kills me, and that makes me alot stronger. I don’t like to be left in the dark or lie to. That’s the worst. Do ever lie to me. I rather hear the truth and let all horrible emotions run through me, until it disperse as time passes.
The worst thing is, I hate the way you lie, because you think i’m an idiot. I love you, but that doesn’t mean I’m a fool. Love compromises everything, thats why I deal with who you are and accept it. Now, you took my heart and decided to trash it. Things will never ever be the same. Be kind to me atleast. For old time sake atleast? For the fact that, I really gave you my best? No, you still bring me on a joy ride.
I don’t hate you. We will see where/how it ends. I will always be more superior then anyone of those you decided to “hang around”. I’m proud that way and I will not compare myself with anyone of them. I know where I stand.
Let’s not look back at what we could have prevented or could have done. Let’s all look forward. Life is short. Peace to you Charlene. I still can’t believe what happened. But all things happens for a reason. I know you are with the Father now. Up there, looking down at us. You chill out there… and see you soon. xoxo.
Let’s take one year at one time. 2011, let’s look forward to 2012. It’s going to fly. Amen.
